Lie Pie Title: Top 10 Ways to Tell if You're a Member of a Public Sector Union  
Lie Pie Classification: election lie pie

Editor's Note:  Not sure where the top 10 list below came from, but it didn't come from David Letterman.  I scoured The Late Show Top Ten Archive, and it was nowhere to be found.

I hate to burst your bubble, but this caricature of lazy, entitled public sector workers is B.S., honey.  I've worked in the private sector, and I've worked in the public sector.  In my experience, there is an unfortunate number of incompetent back-stabbing greedy buffoons working in the private sector, and there are plenty of brilliant, talented selfless people working in the public sector.  The private sector doesn't have a lock on talent and hard work, don't kid yourself.  This top 10 list doesn't depict public workers accurately, and it is demeaning and disrespectful to all the hard-working folks who serve the public.

It don't matter where you work, honey--working people are working people no matter who they work for.  The robber barons and banksters can scarcely contain their glee when we fight amongst ourselves.  Robber baron Jay Gould famously said,  "I can hire one-half the working class to kill the other half."  If you want America to look like a third-world sweatshop, just keep it up with this dividing your own house B.S. Make it easier for the plutocrats to plunder the country and turn us all into debt-paralyzed indentured servants. Before you know it, you'll be looking back on the good old days when you used to get weekends off, paid overtime, vacations, and a safe workplace free of fire hazards and toxic fumes.  We have a short memory in this country if we think unions aren't necessary.  --Granny, 3/20/2011

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Top ten ways to tell if you might be a member of a public-sector union
By David Letterman 

02/21/2011

10.) You take a week off to protest in Wisconsin and your office runs better.

9.) On a snow day when they say “non-essential” people should stay home you know who they mean.

8.) You get paid twice as much as a private sector person doing the same job but make up the difference by doing half as much work.

7.) It takes longer to fire you than the average killer spends on death row.

6.) The worse you do your job, the more your boss avoids you.

5.) You think the French are working themselves to death.

4.) You know by having a copy of the Holy Koran on your desk your job is 100% safe.

3.) You spend more time at protest marches than at church.

2.) You have a Democratic congressman’s lips permanently attached to your butt.

1.) You pay more in union dues than you do for your healthcare insurance.