Most people know very little about the dark underworld where lie pies are forged.  What calculating villain fabricates these lie pies and to what end?  We believe we know the answer, based on a theory supported by credible evidence that cries out for a Congressional investigation.  Consider this: 

The Holy Bible tells us Satan is the Father of Lies.  We also know from historical evidence that the ancient Egyptians can be credited with inventing the pie.  Clearly, Lucifer's ancient plan came to fruition when lies and pies were finally united in 1992:  Egyptian-born Boutros Boutros Ghali became Secretary-General of the United Nations and took the helm of the New World Order.  One can ONLY conclude that lie pies are baked in the ovens of the Illuminati by Skull and Bones members in an unspeakably gruesome secret ritual supervised by extraterrestrials. 

Do you need further evidence?  Simply pull out a one dollar bill, and turn to the back side where you will find the Great Seal of the United States.  On the left side, observe the pyramid and the All Seeing Eye, the symbol of the Illuminati.  On the right side, just above the head of the eagle, hidden in plain sight is a lie pie festively adorned with star-shaped pastry cut-outs. 

Do not discuss these stunning revelations if you value your personal safety.  Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has an entire fleet of black helicopters at his disposal.  Make one wrong move and he'll dispatch his personal militia to your rooftop to repel into your windows and seize you and your entire family.  You'll never be seen or heard from again.